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Monogamy, Polygamy……. Sologamy? Vadodara girl opting for Sologamy! Here is what you need to know

Monogamy, Polygamy……. Sologamy? Vadodara girl opting for Sologamy! Here is what you need to know

A 24-year-old Vadodara woman, Kusama Bindu, announced on Thursday (June 2nd) that she would get married later this month, describing her as an “act of narcissism.” The first self-marriage in the country, considered one of the “Sologamy“, is scheduled for June 11th.

Her bride is dressed in a red bridal costume, henna in her hands, adorned with vermilion powder in her hair, and does the usual seven laps around the holy fire, she said. Talk to me on the phone from home.

Pre-wedding ceremonies such as Haldi (turmeric mixed with oil to the bride) and Sanjeet (music and dance) take place early in the day. After the wedding, she visits Gore for her two-week honeymoon.

Only the groom is missing all the celebrations. That’s because Ms Bindu plans to “marry” herself in what may be the first single case in India. “Many people say I’m a great catch,” said a 24-year-old sociology student and blogger. “I tell them,’ I have caught myself.'”

 Mr Bindu said that by marrying himself, she would devote her life to “narcissism.” “The commitment to self-marriage is to commit to being there for yourself and to choosing a livelihood and lifestyle that will help you grow and become the most vibrant, beautiful and deeply fulfilled individual you can be.

” In other words, I’m showing that I accept all of myself, particularly the parts of me I’ve denied or tried to hide, such as my weaknesses on a physical, mental, or emotional level. For me, this marriage is a truly self-accepting act. What I am trying to say is to accept myself, including the unsightly parts. “

 Her family, Mr Bindu, told me, to give them their blessings and will attend the ceremony with their friends.  ” As my mother told me once, ‘Oh, you’re always thinking of something new.’ But my very open-minded parents took it in their stride and said, ‘It’s you.’ As long as we are happy, that’s okay, “she added.

Monogamy

 What is Sologamy?

Sologamy is an act of self-marriage in public ceremonies, also known as private marriage or autogamy. There are no legal sanctions or status in such marriages, but symbolic rituals are often used by many as an act of emphasizing self-love and independence. 

When did the trend start?

An American dental hygienist named Linda Baker married in 1993 and the tradition was born. This is widely regarded as the first public self-marriage act involving about 75 of Baker’s friends, who said to the bride “I will” to honour herself for illness and health until the day she died. Told.

Divorce was also reported last year when  Brazilian model Chris Galera, 33, announced that she would finish her single marriage in just 90 days because she fell in love with someone else. 

What rituals are included in self-marriage? There are no rules or social norms. They may or may not resemble a traditional wedding for two people. With the growing trend, service providers have also appeared in various parts of the world to assist clients who decide to self-marry.

IMarriedMe.com at www.marryyourself.com in San Francisco offers a sologamy ceremony kit, including wedding bands and vows. “Marry Yourself” in Canada provides wedding photography and consultative services. In Kyoto, Cerca Travel offers a two-day self-wedding package. 

When Bindu announced that she was going to marry herself, she also said she would have a wedding complete with all the traditional rites like pheras and sindoor.

What is the reason this trend is resonating across the globe?

CBC News quoted Alexandra Gill, the founder of Marry Yourself Vancouver, who explains,   ‘For the first time in history, women have the means to live independently, advance their careers, buy homes, have families of their own, and have children of their own if they choose to.

‘ Sologamy is a practice of self-marriage that can be even harder to achieve if your mother or grandmother did not have this option… It’s also turning the stigma of the lonely, depressed spinster on its head.   Women are tired of being told they`re failures if they haven`t married by a certain expiry date.”

“The common theme in most stories of self-marriage that I hear is a commitment to take care of oneself the way one hopes or imagines a lover would.”

Sasha Cagen, an author and life coach, writes: “The focus of self-marriage stories is to be committed to taking care of oneself…the way you imagine a lover would.”.

Women also frame self-matrimony as a unique solution to the problem of women sacrificing their own needs in a relationship. It is said that the most important thing in marriage is to marry yourself first.

 How is sologamy seen in popular culture? 

     Several popular television shows have featured self-marriage, including Sex and the City, Glee, and Doctor Who. On an episode of Sex and the City in 2003, Carrie Bradshaw was shown marrying herself, with a USA Today report later stating that many consider this fictional character to be the “godmother of sologamy”. 

Bhartiya Janata Party (BJP) leader reacted with disapproval upon learning a Gujarat woman married herself. The former deputy mayor of Vadodara, Satita Shukla, has expressed concern over the announcement by 24-year-old Kshama Bindu that she would marry herself at the Harihareshwar temple in Vadodara after her engagement. 

The Hindu sage Shutta asserted that such marriages are against Hinduism and that this will lower the Hindu population.   The couple will not be allowed to marry in any temple”  

  I am opposed to the choice of venue. No temple can be used to celebrate a marriage, according to the BJP leader.   Sunita’s comment came after Parliamentary Speaker Millindo Deora described the news from a woman who wanted to marry her as an insane “awakening.” “I hope it stays far away from India,” Deora tweeted, evoking a backlash from social media users.

Kshama Bindu, a young employee of a private company, is ready to tie a knot in what is known as “solo gummy” or self-marriage. Ferras, indoors and honeymoons in Goa are part of Kusama’s plans for her wedding, which follows Hindu customs and rituals. 

BJP leaders called Kusama madness and said that everywhere in Hindu culture it was written that boys could marry boys and girls could marry girls.

A monk hired to celebrate his marriage

Sologamy

 Meanwhile, Bindu, who identified as bisexual,  claimed that her marriage was the first single in India. They were surprised at first when she told her parents about her decision to marry her but later agreed.

Both her parents are engineers. She lives in Ahmedabad, India, with her mother, whose parents are both in South Africa. However, legal experts say Sologamy has no legal support in India.

According to Indian laws, it is forbidden for a person to marry himself or herself. A marriage must be arranged between two people. Sologamy is not legal, “Krishna Kant Vacalia, a lawyer in the High Court, told PTI. 

Conservatives don’t like it. Humorists will find that divorce is much easier in solo games. It is said that a Brazilian woman who married divorced after finding love for others.

 

But seriously, Sologamy may represent another aspect of economic transformation in modern society. Most solo gamists are like women. As you become more likely to be financially independent on your terms, you also have more opportunities to challenge the legitimacy and its rules.

Probably because they are already supported by the social class, men don’t marry themselves. In a country where “being a good wife” is a sermon read by daughters of wealthy families, singleness can itself be seen as a peaceful rebellion.

“Self The concept of self-marriage means to always be there for yourself and to love yourself unconditionally. It is also an act of self-acceptance. People marry loved ones. I love this wedding because I love myself. “

Her words are the standard justification for most solo game acts. And they are wonderful and empowering. When you love yourself, self-marriage is a test of that fulfilling self-love. It is also the ultimate expression of self-confidence, or Atmanil Balta as our powerful man calls it. 

If you want to find love and get married — don’t just swipe right indefinitely and wait for someone to come and make it happen. Turn to self-help.  

Simply put, marriage is about marrying who you are, and who is the best match for you. Wouldn’t it make sense to use auto-marriage? Considering auto eroticism, shouldn’t auto marriage be possible too?  

 Perks Of Marrying One Self

 Furthermore, let’s not forget the numerous benefits that come with a sologamous relationship.

The benefits of being married to yourself include having to deal with the annoying habits of another person, such as his snoring or his stubborn insistence that drawers are never fully closed.    The benefits of sologamy over monogamy in cheating are another area where it excels over the overrated joys of monogamy.

Seeing as the other person in your life is you if you decide to stray, that is, go into a relationship with another person, you can quickly forgive yourself without hysterics and unnecessary emotional drama.  

In the same way, divorce is not easy. If you want to end this marriage – however beautiful and uplifting it may have been – you have the option without pain.   Seeing as the other person in your life is you if you decide to stray, that is, go into a relationship with another person, you can quickly forgive yourself without hysterics and unnecessary emotional drama. Last year, 33-year-old Brazilian model Cris Galera divorced three months after her Instagram-worthy solo wedding. The unfortunate farewell happened when Galera met a man who probably liked more than her part of herself who was married.

 Ideas are not new

Sologamy

 All of this may sound a little surreal. But wait a minute, uh, there’s a way to go crazy. In the 2003 episode of the hit television series “Sex and the City,” Carrie Bradshaw, the protagonist who embodies the emotional, sexual, and relationship anxieties of the modern Western female generation, is in space.

Since then, lifestyles have imitated art, and a whole lot of unmarried girls have accompanied Carrie`s trail-blazing act and opted for sologamy, due to the fact they need to revel in the romance of a wedding ceremony and are uninterested in looking ahead to love, they experience they had as an alternative marry the only they love satisfactory and the only who are continually at hand — their selves.

The self-sufficiency common sense is certainly an effective one. It`s near as though solo weddings have been a feminist act, an extension of the feminist slogan “A female wishes a person like a fish wishes a bicycle”.

Since then, reviews say there were loads of such “marriages”, normally via way of means of unmarried girls. Brides have walked down the aisle wearing pristine wedding ceremony gowns, wearing a bouquet, every so often with households and buddies cheering them on. And in a single fairly uncommon case, a 33-year-vintage Brazilian model “divorced” herself 3 months after her “wedding ceremony”.

Businesses have additionally proliferated in lots of elements of the sector, catering to the trend, and providing wedding ceremony kits, which include rings, vows and confirmation playing cards that say matters like “Hell yeah, I’m awesome”.

But because such tales are as but unparalleled in India, information about Ms Bindu’s coming near nuptials has come to be a speaking point.

An intellectual fitness professional I spoke to seemed “surprised” via way of means of what Sologamy represented.

“To me, it looks as if a completely bizarre idea,” stated Dr Savita Malhotra, former dean and professor of psychiatry at PGIMER health centre withinside the metropolis of Chandigarh.

“Everyone has self-love. You do not have to interrupt it up or create an outside duplicate to illustrate self-love. It’s intrinsic to all of us. And marriage is set  entities coming together.”

  • Why developing numbers are announcing ‘yes’ to themselves
  • Italian female ‘marries herself’

The information has additionally commenced a debate on social media. Some applauded her announcing she might be a notion to many, however, maximum human beings simply attempted to wrap their heads across the idea of sologamy.

Sologamy

One female on Twitter questioned what became the want for marriage if there has been no one else involved. Another stated it seemed that Ms Bindu became simply looking to run far from her circle of relative’s responsibilities.

Some have criticized Sologamy as a “strange and unfortunate act” and blamed it on “permanent narcissism.” To her critics, Ms Bindu has the “best one thing” to say: “It’s my selection to marry who I need – whether or not it is a person or a female or myself. And via way of means of marrying myself, I need to normalise sologamy. I need to inform human beings which you come into the sector by myself and also you go away it by myself. So who can love you extra than yourself? If you fall, it is you who’s going to need to select out your self up.”

edited and proofread by nikita sharma

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