Date Wisely in 2022: Here’s How to Do It!
The new year has arrived, but the dismal process we refer to as modern dating (which has now become a pandemic, no less) and many of the things that stress us out remain largely the same.
On a more positive note, January is the best month of the year for online dating, according to science. When I was single on the apps (which was pretty much the duration of my 20s), I used to make lists of dating “resolutions” for each year, with goals ranging from “Go on two dates per week” to “Delete Tinder” and “Stop dating an emotionally unavailable womanizer.”
It was a terrific way to kick off the new year. None of them were scientifically established, but the idea was to date better, or rather, smarter, so that I could spend less time in relationships that were significant to me.
It’s only normal to desire to establish healthier, more intelligent habits at the start of the year (the “fresh-start effect” is a real phenomenon, after all). However, like with every resolution that has an impact on your well-being, you should make certain that the goals you set are supported by scientific evidence.
In his upcoming book, How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love, Logan Ury, a dating coach and Hinge’s director of relationship science, gave us some advice on how to set yourself up for dating success.
According to a recent Hinge research, two out of every three users are positive about dating in 2022 and believe that it will be better than dating in 2021 in general. Let’s hope for the best.
Because you’re unlikely to meet someone in a crowded bar any time soon, continue reading for some of her scientifically based strategies—or, more accurately, your new resolutions—for dating successfully online in 2022.
1. Identify any blind spots you may have.
When it comes to dating, whether it’s your first time or 100th time, taking a moment to give yourself an honest self-evaluation is a wise first step. From there, you can begin to recognize certain behaviors that may be interfering with your ability to find the connection you’re seeking for.
According to Ury, “If you’ve been single for a long time and you feel like you have some tendencies that are holding you back, I would really advise people to be intentional.” “Take a deep breath and ask yourself, ‘Why am I single?’ ‘Can you tell me about my patterns?’ ‘I’m overly picky,’ for example, might be a trend.
‘I seldom accept incoming matches, and when I do, I rarely go on a second date with them,’ says the author. A further reason could be that I’m not picky enough. I don’t spend nearly enough time deliberating over whoever I want to devote my time to.
‘I frequently find myself in the company of persons who are not interested in a relationship.’ The present moment is an excellent opportunity to take a step back and engage in some self-reflection.”
To be honest, identifying one’s own dating blind spots can be challenging, so Ury suggests obtaining assistance from a friend or someone you can trust. “I’d like you to be honest with me: What do you believe some of my undesirable behaviours are?”
Inform them. Ury suggests that you say anything to them. After that, you may make a true pledge to yourself, your friend, or whoever your accountability partner is, and say things like, “I’m going to try to be more open-minded this year,” or “I’m going to try to be more present on my dates this year.” This may necessitate fewer trips.”
2. Be as specific as possible about what you’re searching for.
Details are important since they serve to stimulate conversation and provide potential mates with a greater understanding of who you are.
For example, if you ask someone what they like to do on the weekends and they respond with “watching television,” it is a clear indication that they are disinterested in what you are asking.
On the other hand, if someone says something like, “On Sundays, I make a fantastic bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich and then binge-watch The Office,” you can live with that. Don’t leave your matches to fend by themselves.
If the dating app you’re using has prompted, Ury recommends taking the time to deliberately respond to them. It is possible to be both humorous and serious at the same time when people receive rapid responses, according to Ury. People are looking for that unique mix of sensitivity and humor.
Choose prompts or responses that show a wide range of your personality so that people can get a better sense of who you are when picking the prompts to respond to or the responses to choose.
3. Pay close attention to quality control.
On dating applications like Tinder, swiping for four hours straight or sending more than 100 “Hey there!” messages will not increase your chances of finding your perfect mate. It’s only going to set you up for dating weariness in the future. It’s especially important to avoid overscheduling yourself during this time of year when we are still navigating safe, socially distant dates.
In response to those who believe that dating is “simply a numbers game,” Ury responds affirmatively and negatively. Sure, you’ll undoubtedly need to meet a certain number of individuals before you find someone with whom you’ll click, but the most important quality to look for is genuine consideration. In Ury’s opinion, “if you show up but don’t put any care into your profile, you are not being intentional with who you’re matching.”
With this in mind, it is important to remember that having a workhorse attitude may not always result in the results you desire, just as sending out 500 generic resumes will not always result in a job offer.
“You’re far better off focusing on a few professions that you’re a very good fit for and putting your time and effort into them,” Ury advises. ” This frame of mind should be applied to your dating life, whether it’s maintaining a well-rounded profile or composing a humorous greeting that might convince a match to want to engage with you more deeply.
It may take more time, but the extra work will pay off in the long term by increasing your chances of success.
Fourth, don’t be scared to put yourself out there in the real world.
Despite the fact that we live in a digital world, there are still opportunities to meet individuals organically and in-person—provided that they do so in a secure environment.
Even while large-scale events such as birthday parties and book signings are out of the question, you can always strike up a (masked) discussion if you’re in the dog park with your pet or even from a safe six feet away while you’re waiting in line for coffee.
One silver lining, according to Ury, is the fact that we are all going through the same experience as a result of the epidemic. Moreover, while you are under no obligation to concentrate your conversation around it, Ury believes that it is a suitable and simple beginning line to just inquire, “How has your experience been?” or “What are you doing to stay safe these days?”
According to her, “realizing that we are all going through something tough at the same time is a way to connect and reach that moment of connection a little sooner.”
edited and proofread by nikita sharma
